It's been awhile, hasn't it? Or at least since there's been a substantial post.

sxsw

-my mood is slowly improving. It's been very all over the place (mostly in bad places) for the past two months. I was being a recluse more than usual and was having a lot of relationship troubles, mostly because I was being very irritable for no reason. I don't know if it's been the prayer, my hormones balancing out, the St. John's wort, or what, but most days I feel good about being alive. I've been talking more, seeing more people, and getting more things done.
-visited SwAGU last week. I think if I had known about it and had been at a different place in life when I was 17 and applying to colleges, I would have liked to have gone there. Everyone seems to be close knit and while I do have some issues with the AG as a group,  we share most of the same beliefs and it is what you make it to be. It was awesome having an allotted time for chapel and hearing the Word of God. I enjoy reading, but I'm such a slacker when it comes to reading the Bible. Sermons are always what get the message to me best. There's something about hearing it and experiencing the Word being read out loud with a room full of people that makes it sink in better. I'm also an auditory learner, so hearing something is the best way for me to focus on the message and to really take it in and understand it. Seeing someone get passionate about God makes you want to get passionate as well.

THEY HAD FREE COFFEE.

Also, I really liked the sense of community. We actually do have that at UH, even though we are a large school, because you end up seeing a lot of the same people within your major and most people are friendly because, well, most people in life aren't gonna be jerks, but I haven't been able to find a Christian group there that I fit into. It's like I don't fit in with the ultra-conservative mega-church stereotypical Christian or with the ultra-liberal, nobody-goes-to-Hell, the-Bible-is-not-literal Christians either. Does that make me a moderate? x3 But yeah. I have those people at church, but then again, that's probably why our church is so small.
I think I wrote about the Bible study I found at school. The first session Ben and I went to and it was great-- it seemed to be focused on truth and what the Bible actually says, crazy miracles and all. Then I invited Pete to the second session with me and it turned out to be a study focused on explaining away all of the miracles in the Bible. I mean, they said that's not what they were doing, that these watered down "miracles" they were presenting were still just as valid and good, but they defeated the whole purpose. We are supposed to believe that Jesus is capable of ANYTHING, even if it defies our earthly laws, because He is the Creator and He exists outside of all of these rules. Pete and I told them we had no problem wholeheartedly believing any of the miracles in the Bible because we could both think of perfectly logical ways they could be done, at least when combined with Jesus' capabilities, which meant pretty much anything could happen since his Faith trait was times infinity and He is, you know, the Son of God.
Seth wrote this for me because I couldn't put the bad feeling sitting and listening to the teacher of this Bible study gave me into words:

"I'm really appreciative of the opportunity to join your Bible study, but unfortunately I must decline to attend again. I believe in the complete validity of Scripture, including its records of miracles, especially those of Christ. During the last Bible study it seemed as though there was a difference in understanding of how the Bible should be interpreted. I believe that when the Gospels (or any of the other books of the Bible) give account of things which seem incomprehensible (particularly miracles, that we should accept them as having happened and not as something which needs to be reasoned down and reduced to a more sensible meaning. I don't have any difficulty in accepting the miracles of Christ as complete fact as they appear at face value in the Scriptures because God created the laws of science for our benefit, not His own--He does not live within them and He certainly is not restricted by them. I believe that if God can make the universe, then he can also change or fix it.
Christ is always very clear when he gives his disciples commands, when he performs or declares a miracle, or when he tells a parable. It does not take great faith to debate the meaning of Scripture, only to accept it for what it says.
I hold no ill feelings or disrespect for anyone, but I also do not feel that I can stay."

*boomsnap*

-school is...I don't even know. I accidentally missed a few assignments because I was sick/exhausted/forgot that Spring break was over. >-< Whoops. But the assignments I DO remember, which is most of them, I am doing my best to get them done to the best of my ability and not do them all the day they are do. Or if I am going to do that, to give myself time enough to do a good job. A lot of times I end up writing on Tuesdays before my workshop because I don't get motivated until then. This is okay because the writing gets done, except that I kept having to skip Gulf Coast because I couldn't do both. I ended up sending my "boss" (the editor) a letter a couple of days ago telling him that between 18 hours of school and a part time job, I can't keep helping out. :/ Sucked to do, but it's better than not going, plus I got in a good two or two and a half years of volunteering and I learned a lot about how lit journals are put together.

I'm excited for this semester to end, but I'm also really afraid because that means that's it and it's time to start real life. I decided to go through Region 4, so after I apply with them I suppose I really need to buckle down and start looking for a job since they said I could start teaching in the fall as long as I passed the certification test. It's scary, but I'm looking forward to finally moving out and having a place of my own. That means I can also have more freedom (aka space) to pursue my hobbies and to develop new ones. ^_^

I'll leave you with some nice pics. <3

Labels: Assemblies of God, Bible study, coffee, college, eevee, Jesus, kitten, rain, SAGU, SwAGU, texas, UH

Hey guys. :) If there is anyone out there, that is.

As of late:

-I've stopped working as much. Tried working Mondays, but I was so behind in school work that I didn't know when anything was due, so I stopped and now have that day as a homework day. Unfortunately, a great deal of it ends up wasted because I can't focus and put things off, but from 5 on I'm hard at work, so that's better than nothing, right? It also gives me time to do errands and visit people.

-a girl came up to Justin and me at school and asked if we would be interested in participating in a Bible study. I was sort of interested, but I've been emailing with the girl and she seems really nice and genuine, so we are trying to work out another time to meet up so I can start. I think the study focuses on Scripture and working that into the reason for your faith. I like that; Bible studies usually are topical or focus on books that aren't the Bible, so this sounds refreshing. Plus I haven't seriously studied the Bible in years and it would be really nice to get grounded in it.

-my writing teacher is one of those interesting older women that young writer women want to grow up to be like, but she kind of expects a lot of us. Everything is really constrained and she basically gives us prompts to work into our "project" stories, but the whole thing is turning out to be a nonfiction class and I'm not sure how I feel about that. My story really sucked at first, but it's getting there. The first part I am okay with. The second part, not so much. Not really sure where the story is headed, either. Nick, you read the first part. Any suggestions if you are reading this?

-got to apply to alt certification/teaching jobs soon. Muh. Afraid, a little.

And I guess that's about it. Life has been kind of boring, lately.

Labels: Bible study, boring, God, homework, Jesus, university of houston, writing

I. AM. FINISHED.

I'm so glad to be able to say that. Q___Q

Pretty sure I made A's in everything except for Early British Literature, which I am really scared to see my grade in. Oh well. Hopefully I at least...pass. Hopefully they bypass the 17% plagiarism rating on my paper after seeing that I used things from an earlier paper about the same thing, and hopefully they understand that opinions don't change much in a year so I would have been rewriting the same thing over again, which I started to do for two pages because I completely forgot that I wrote that other paper a year ago. And hopefully they take into account that I tried exceedingly hard to change things up enough that it didn't look just copied and pasted, and that I wrote four and a half more pages to go along with it. >.< Muhhhh. The thing I hate the most about college is lit classes. Usually it isn't the reading material, but this semester it was all very boring. I hate early Brit lit. Pretty much more than I hate mayonnaise.

So, looks like I have one reader. Sweet. o_< Even though my stats say there are more. They are probably bots. Dang bots.

Talking to a kid from high school in another window. Don't know him too well, but he got something I drew tattooed on him. That's pretty freakin' badass.

I took a celebratory bath with The Night in Question (short stories by Tobias Wolff) after finishing my final. Wasn't a very long bath because this isn't my house, but it was so nice to be able to relax. This semester has felt both very relaxing and also the most stressful I have ever felt. I think I had the most breakdowns this semester, at least in the past few weeks. But I also didn't write a 15-pager in one night like I did last semester.

This was Hell.

Yeah. That wasn't the best choice I ever made.

So remember how I said I bought that Bible study? I've been having second thoughts about that. My old method basically consisted of asking the kids to all pick a topic, which I would then research and then make some notes on that would basically make a 2 hour lesson-discussion thing, and that worked really well. The verses I would find really hit home and the discussions that came from going over the lessons was insightful, teaching everyone something new, including myself. I think a lot of the things we talked about were also close subjects to the girls (duh, the picked them out), so they got to vent about what was going on in there lives, which seemed to help because a lot of times it was really big stuff that was out of their control that they didn't really have anyone to talk about.

Sounds great, right? Yeah, then I destroyed it. We haven't even gotten to do our first study yet because in between night church getting canceled, "Cuddles" having a social life, the Germans moving, and me having work and homework, we haven't all been able to meet up, but I think that's been a blessing. After reviewing the introduction and first chapter, it seems like it is one of those books where the person talks a lot about themself. I hate that. I don't pick up a Bible study to learn about you, I pick it up to learn about God.

OK GONNA GO PLAY VIDJA GAMES NAO K LATER

Labels: Bible, Bible study, church, coogs, finals, God, Jesus, stress, tea, Tobias Wolff, truth, UH, university of houston, video games, vidja games, youth, youth pastor