Quiz= finished.
Bible study= ordered.
Sleep schedule= in progress.

I need to pee but I think I will write this first.

I miss my solitude. His parents are out of town so it's his two nephews (two and four), his two brothers, and his oldest brother's wife. This used to be the place I would come to get peace because the younger brother is usually gone and his parents are pretty quiet and so is he, so being here right now is dramatically different. I try to not get into conversations and get distracted from my homework, which I was pretty good at today, but then it gets hard to get back on track when I do get distracted. Today was a good day. I was able to focus for most of it, took breaks and read something for fun when needed, and got some work done. I dread the days, however, when the static comes back and my head is full of noise and random thoughts never stop appearing. I don't know how to stop that. Lately it's gotten so bad I can't read unless it's something really interesting, but then I can only do it for forty-five minutes or so.

I miss quiet. The television is on all the time here because it's breaking and somehow leaving it on keeps it from flashing like a strobe light. So naturally, this means people are watching it constantly with the volume on high and I want to break the thing. This didn't help with concentration.

I think I'm going to start looking into homeopathic medicine to help me focus. A prescription would cost too much, plus I don't want to raise my heart rate or any of that.

Lately I feel the need to get out of here. I want to travel. I haven't gone out of state (Arkansas does not count) in the past couple of years and it's driving me nuts. I love the country, I appreciate the beach, but Brazoria County doesn't really have anything here anymore. Tonight we talked about this and I think I upset him a little. I stay here because the person I love is here, but the future is now. We need to be doing all that we possibly can because this is where we are and where we will be until our work is finished. I hate the idea of us growing old working in retail.

Exploration and imagination don't have to die with childhood. God made a beautiful earth for us to live in and we all sit inside watching TV and playing video games (don't get me wrong, I do like video games) instead of going outside and playing and taking pictures and talking and enjoying His creation. These are the things I miss and lately it seems I have no one to do them with.

Labels: ADHD, creativity, God, nature, noise, solitude, static