break the silence
melodies
long gone
Friday, May 6, 2011
It’s 12:07 AM.
It’s 12:07 AM and I have a math final in the morning that I haven’t really studied for. I’m going to, in the morning. And maybe a little before I sleep.
One thing before I start for real: yes, I realized right after my first post that tumblrs can’t be set to private. Fail. On their part, not mine. But I think I’m past that.
I feel like God’s been putting it on me to start blogging about Him. I first felt this way a few weeks ago when I started a Bible study on my iPhone over prayer. Anybody else use those things on their Bible app? I know I sound like a total tool right now, talking about iPhones, but IT IS CONVENIENT. Especially when you don’t have internet at your house and the phone was free (thanks, Ben! :D Can’t remember your tumblr name right now, but it’s not like you’re using it anyway).
And then tonight. I was supposed to write a 15 page paper and turn it in by today at 2 PM but I didn’t. Know why? Haha, actually, the first reason is because I thought it was due next Thursday. I really need to buy a wall calendar and carry it around with me because the planner just ain’t cutting it. But the second reason, the main reason, is because I am a time waster.
I procrastinate to the point that it destroys me. I freak out, I get stressed, I stop sleeping, I have panic attacks, and I stop making sense. This semester and the last half of last semester were the best ones I have ever had, simply because I realized that I was killing myself (faster) and that I needed balance. So I kept doing projects at the almost last minute, but I started giving myself reasonable amounts of time to get them completed. I started getting Seth to hold me accountable and to make sure I did my work. And most importantly of all, I started looking to God for clarity and support before I got to the point that I was at this week— utter and complete stress.
Today I realized that I slipped into this again. I’ve spent all of this time on the internet looking at memes and Wikipedia and Facebook and stuff that completely doesn’t matter instead of just finishing my paper. And it wasn’t even my time to waste, it was His.
This is what happens when we don’t seek God everyday like we’re supposed to. It’s easy to get caught up in school and relationships and other things and just forget. I mean, it shouldn’t be since God is literally everywhere all at once, but it is, and it’s the times like this when I realize how flawed I really am as a human being. Not seeking God daily and looking to him for every little thing throughout your day encourages separation, and once you’re separated, it’s hard to find your way back, or to even find the will to want to come back.
This week was like Hell. Essentially, when you choose to live a life in separation of God, you live in Hell every day.
So I’ve put this paper off until tomorrow, for now. I have a week to do it (late papers aren’t docked by very much), and I’m going to do it in small portions with frequent breaks. Seth’s gonna make sure I do school work instead of wasting time. And most importantly of all, I’m going to pray.
It is the cement in our lives, the thing which keeps us together when we need comfort the most. Don’t fall victim to stress and business. Make time in your day for God, and ask Him and others to help you remember to make this time. Don’t just seek Him in the troubled times but remember Him in the best. Keep asking for guidance so that you may continue on in this way and ask to be convicted of anything you might not be realizing about yourself.
Everything on this earth is ephemeral, but He is not of this earth. He is everlasting.
I’m sleepy so this doesn’t sound very literary considering my major, but I promise to work harder next time. And the time after that, forever and always, in everything I do.
-from Tumblr. I've decided to make the switch because I like the interface better, but I'll still be posting some things over here for those who are deadset against it. ;)
It’s 12:07 AM and I have a math final in the morning that I haven’t really studied for. I’m going to, in the morning. And maybe a little before I sleep.
One thing before I start for real: yes, I realized right after my first post that tumblrs can’t be set to private. Fail. On their part, not mine. But I think I’m past that.
I feel like God’s been putting it on me to start blogging about Him. I first felt this way a few weeks ago when I started a Bible study on my iPhone over prayer. Anybody else use those things on their Bible app? I know I sound like a total tool right now, talking about iPhones, but IT IS CONVENIENT. Especially when you don’t have internet at your house and the phone was free (thanks, Ben! :D Can’t remember your tumblr name right now, but it’s not like you’re using it anyway).
And then tonight. I was supposed to write a 15 page paper and turn it in by today at 2 PM but I didn’t. Know why? Haha, actually, the first reason is because I thought it was due next Thursday. I really need to buy a wall calendar and carry it around with me because the planner just ain’t cutting it. But the second reason, the main reason, is because I am a time waster.
I procrastinate to the point that it destroys me. I freak out, I get stressed, I stop sleeping, I have panic attacks, and I stop making sense. This semester and the last half of last semester were the best ones I have ever had, simply because I realized that I was killing myself (faster) and that I needed balance. So I kept doing projects at the almost last minute, but I started giving myself reasonable amounts of time to get them completed. I started getting Seth to hold me accountable and to make sure I did my work. And most importantly of all, I started looking to God for clarity and support before I got to the point that I was at this week— utter and complete stress.
Today I realized that I slipped into this again. I’ve spent all of this time on the internet looking at memes and Wikipedia and Facebook and stuff that completely doesn’t matter instead of just finishing my paper. And it wasn’t even my time to waste, it was His.
This is what happens when we don’t seek God everyday like we’re supposed to. It’s easy to get caught up in school and relationships and other things and just forget. I mean, it shouldn’t be since God is literally everywhere all at once, but it is, and it’s the times like this when I realize how flawed I really am as a human being. Not seeking God daily and looking to him for every little thing throughout your day encourages separation, and once you’re separated, it’s hard to find your way back, or to even find the will to want to come back.
This week was like Hell. Essentially, when you choose to live a life in separation of God, you live in Hell every day.
So I’ve put this paper off until tomorrow, for now. I have a week to do it (late papers aren’t docked by very much), and I’m going to do it in small portions with frequent breaks. Seth’s gonna make sure I do school work instead of wasting time. And most importantly of all, I’m going to pray.
It is the cement in our lives, the thing which keeps us together when we need comfort the most. Don’t fall victim to stress and business. Make time in your day for God, and ask Him and others to help you remember to make this time. Don’t just seek Him in the troubled times but remember Him in the best. Keep asking for guidance so that you may continue on in this way and ask to be convicted of anything you might not be realizing about yourself.
Everything on this earth is ephemeral, but He is not of this earth. He is everlasting.
I’m sleepy so this doesn’t sound very literary considering my major, but I promise to work harder next time. And the time after that, forever and always, in everything I do.
-from Tumblr. I've decided to make the switch because I like the interface better, but I'll still be posting some things over here for those who are deadset against it. ;)
Labels: God Jesus truth prayer procrastination hell homework
4:28 PM